AND, WHAT HAVE I LEARNED SO FAR ... ??

So, this is it! We're coming to the end of another year and I have to be very honest with myself about how far my inner life has developed. One thing for sure is that I have not carried through with all my intentions for change outlined at the beginning of this year for one reason or the other. Life decided to do Her own thing and take me in other directions! Goddess Wisdom has dawned on me in areas where I least expected and that is really much to be grateful for. It now reinforces my belief that if I place everything in the hands of God, and follow the dictates of my heart, the Holy Spirit takes over and reinterprets it for me as God would have me do it. That's neat!

The last few years have been spent moving away consciously from the three dimensional interpretations of the scriptures, of old beliefs, of life, etc. It has been a big challenge for me because it started leaving me vulnerable and open which was very disconcerting for me as a human being. But then the road to my True Self  is not about refining the human aspect, its about rediscovering my spiritual one.

I remember when I first encountered the idea that my whole world is an illusion, it knocked the socks out of me. Whhaaattttt???? This information actually gave me no relief. It stunned me and it seemed so laughable that I thought God was really playing a cruel joke on us. I was terrified. I felt alone, scared and abandoned. Did God actually throw us to the wolves? At that time I was in a sea of confusion.  I knew I had to find my very own path, but I just did not know how to do it and this information was not helping me in any way. As much as I wanted to completely detach from formal religion, it also helped me to believe in something beyond me even if that Being was a so-called "punishing, jealous, judgmental God"!! It took many years to understand the truth of this statement (that the world is an illusion). And then the real journey started excavating all of 'me' and creating space for God to walk in.

Awakening happens differently for everyone. It begins to happen when you start the unraveling of yourself, when you begin to understand you are definitely not this body and mind and that you are much much vaster than you can ever imagine. It happens when you can begin to see the world from a place of Love, Oneness and Connectedness. For me it happens on a daily basis. Life is no more that soft, mushy, mushy thing. Life has opened my eyes wide open and made me see the Reality of Itself. My Awareness opens me up more and more and releases the untruths I have believed in for aeons. It also cuts through ancestral beliefs which has been passed down through generations. Wow! that is some cleaning to do.

I understand more clearly now why disasters and natural calamities take place. All of these happenings are a result of wrong beliefs and thoughts that have reached such proportions and magnitude at the  mass consciousness level, that an explosion and a bursting has to take place. Explosions are always lethal. Cyclones and storms cause mass destruction. Floods and killings cause tremendous suffering. THERE IS NO PUNISHING GOD doing any of this. This is the most childish and ignorant belief ever amongst humanity. God is NOT involved in making and causing suffering to anything or anyone. So, I have left God out of it. We are responsible. I am responsible. I have contributed through my own destructive thoughts to the mass destruction of life.  When we talk any other language other than Love, destruction has to happen. 

But destruction brings with it new beginnings. It breaks open hardened hearts of the common man and spurs him to tremendous acts of compassion, love, service and awakening. And if we are conscious enough, we can take this a huge step further: WE CAN BEGIN OUR OWN JOURNEY OF REMEMBRANCE, OUR OWN AWAKENING. 

Death brings new life always. When we mourn death it is simply because we have no idea about LIFE, about our own Divine Nature. Life is only about Spirit. Period. 

Armed with this understanding, I now look forward to new possibilities and new beginnings. I am grateful for every moment of my life. Life always happens for our own learning. Everyone you meet is only about that. Those are the only lessons. When you begin to understand this, you can't help loving them as God would have you love them: like yourself! It does not matter who comes and who goes in my life. What matters is that I keep myself hollow as much as possible to allow all events to pass through me without resistance and judgment. So, what have I learned so far? Life is not what you see. Life is beyond the seer and the seen. Not so philosophical when you get right into the heart of the matter. And most important, all of this stuff that you think you "see" is actually not happening in reality but only in your mind. And that is why no one else sees the world that you see, but only you. That is a revelation. 

And so it is. Namaste!

~ Lavina ~