True Change

Change is something I have been aspiring to forever. The more I tried, the more difficult it appeared. The bad habits were like addiction. The self hate was a favourite past time. As for guilt, you name any situation and I have already felt bad and guilty about it. Because I believed all of these self-created stories, I was willingly absorbing judgments and labels other people were more than ready to bestow on me! My environment never seemed to fail me and reinforced all of these errors I held about myself.  Understandably I was in a very great hurry to change all of this stuff which made me very unhappy. I lived in a constant state of frustration and low self esteem. My impatience soaked me up leaving me feeling in despair. The harder I tried to be a "good" person, the more I was failing. I reasoned with myself alot and questioned even more. They included questions like:  I was on "The Path", why then was I unable to create worthwhile change? .... When are things going to be different within me? etc. etc.

These are good questions to ask. They act as a compass and direct you True North.  As I began a a relentless self inquiry, answers were unfolding themselves automatically. What I began to understand was that a True Path involves an absolute and complete turnaround change. You cannot hang onto or hold onto any false belief of the life you are giving up. There is no half-and-half. Until that is realized, change will be minimal and a struggle. True change is REBIRTH. You have to die to your old self completely. This is by far the hardest endeavor for me. But I now have a far better understanding what true spiritual practice is and that is a huge place to start from. I was helped further when I encountered James Twyman's "The Art of Spiritual Peacemaking." It is a huge book in terms of  spiritual depth and requires you to trust that  once you start The Peacemaker's Path, all changes are taking place within. On the outside there is nothing obvious for a long while, but that does not mean just because you cannot see something, it is absent or not happening. You have to develop Trust, Faith and Patience. Divine Patience is the surety that something is going to happen in eternity and infinity. When you begin to think this way, then suddenly everything seems to be happening very fast. Time begins to collapse. The construct of time does not apply here. This is where you begin to learn to feel yourself through the Path of The Unseen. I started meditating, pondering and contemplating the following passage from the book. It took more than two years for me to begin to comprehend what it means, and as it began to sink into my subconscious mind, I began to see that I was going about my life backwards.

PATIENCE

There is no time in which you will be judged. There is only NOW, and you have already accepted the finality of your soul's  TRUTH. Understand this and Divine Patience will be yours. Then time will have no meaning to you, for you will know the ultimate conclusion of your life: Full knowledge of your True Self.  How can you be anything but patient if you know the path you walk? Even if you do not see the castle in the distance, still you are certain of your eventual arrival. And the more certain you are of this, the sooner you will perceive this reality. Only Divine Patience offers immediate results. There is no hurry, then, for the ending is sure. Enjoy the path you walk and admire the beauty of the landscape. Turn one more corner and you are there. Today I ask that you imagine yourself to be the enlightened being I perceive, filled with patience. Imagine how you would act toward others if this patience were yours. Imagine this new life and embrace it now."

~ The Art of Spiritual Peacemaking, Lesson Six ~

Source: Rooftop cafe view of the Taj Mahal. Image by Daniel McCrohan / Lonely Planet.

 I don't want to go into the details of how I experienced an enlightened view on this because it is said that one should not talk about one's experience with anyone except with a truly like minded person who understands your experience, since the more one talks about personal spiritual experiences, the more the experience begins to feel diminished.  Suffice it to say that I finally understood that the ways of the world are not the ways of Spirit. No matter what you hear, read or believe, ultimately you have to source your own answers from within. Nobody can dictate to you how you should develop a relationship with your own Soul. Neither, can you be a parasite and thrive off someone else's spiritual intuitions and experiences. It will never ever work for you completely.  That is a really good thing because, it proves no two persons in this universe are alike and one size does not fit all. You can only be guided by someone else's path. That is all that you can do. Teachers can only share their knowledge and guide you into your inner Self. Beyond that, you have to develop your relationship with Spirit on your own. Don't waste your time promoting someone else's spiritual ambitions. Those are the ways of the world. Focus only WITHIN.  As I released all my follies, I began to feel directed to the next step, and then the next step, etc. If you look at your life from the aspect of your physical body, it will take millions of lifetimes to perfect. But if you look beyond your body to your True Self, you will realise, the Purity, the Truth and The Self is lying hidden in your very Being waiting to be tapped into. Then the body slowly becomes the channel it is meant to be. Healing begins to take place in spirals and layers as your move inwards and radiate outwards at the same time.  People who are looking for the same thing that you are aspiring to, will be drawn to you like a magnet.

This journey is not for the faint hearted. It is a solo journey. Eagles fly alone. Sheep move in herds. You have to decide if you want to be an Eagle or a sheep.  

True change happens from within. True change cannot be coerced, coaxed or manipulated. When you seek change with all your heart, your heart will convey to The Source your deepest desires and as you allow your free will to give permission to Spirit to work on you, you will not even notice that something big is happening within. It creeps upon on you in a good way, like when you suddenly discover you are no more reacting to the situations and people the way you used to in the past. You begin to stop caring about the things that are not of Truth and you begin to feel Peace in your Heart, the likes you have never experienced before. And that is how it happens.  And you want it to happen more and more. You experience moments of pure bliss - free of worry totally. It is unexplainable. All you need to do is surrender your difficulties and problems and the Holy Spirit does the rest. You have to stay connected with  your Path and every time you deviate, you have to bring yourself back. If you don't, you will experience some physical discomfort whenever you are not doing right by your Soul and you will be reminded .... gently at first .... and then with a harder knock if you still don't pay attention. You Soul is relentless. It will not leave you - this human being that you you are masquerading as, for even a second. Your Soul is your direct connection to The Source and it wants only what is God's will for you.

Do not let anyone diminish you in any way or judge your path. You can achieve this by NOT responding to them at all. They will not understand anyway.

Infinite Patience means you KNOW everything is going to be ALRIGHT. Heck! more than alright - its going to be superb!! Just don't let time dictate the change. And then you will see everything is happening very fast. They call it by a couple of names - Divine Timing and Divine Order.

And that really suits me fine. Om. Amen.

Creativeness Through Self-Knowledge

"There is no method for self-knowledge. Seeking a method invariably implies the desire to attain some result and that is what we all want. We follow authority - if not that of a person, then of a system, of an ideology - because we want a result that will be satisfactory, which will give us security. We really do not want to understand ourselves, our impulses and reactions, the whole process of our thinking, the conscious as well as the unconscious; we would rather pursue a system that assures us of a result. But the pursuit of a system is invariably the outcome of our desire for security, for certainty, and the result is obviously not the understanding of oneself. When we follow a method, we must have authorities - the teacher, the guru, the savior, the Master - who will guarantee us what we desire; and surely that is not the way to self-knowledge.Authority prevents the understanding of oneself, does it not? Under the shelter of an authority, a guide, you may have temporarily a sense of security, a sense of well-being, but that is not the understanding of the total process of oneself. Authority in its very nature prevents the full awareness of oneself and therefore ultimately destroys freedom; in freedom alone can there be creativeness. There can be creativeness only through self-knowledge."

~ Jiddu Krishnamurti, The Book of Life ~

My Life.

My life is my purpose. 

I have a moral responsibility to make it look good, 

the best that I can. 

My life is my Gift. 

It is the only thing I have in this world that belongs to me. 

I Am always wanting to use it well, to flaunt it and to shine through it. 

To dramatize it and make it look good. 

There is every opportunity to do whatever I want. 

And what I will always want is to be happy - really and truly happy.  

This whole drama from start to finish has a shelf life, an end point. 

I can frolic and be joyous or I can just lament. 

Any which way, it all has an expiry date. 

When I am through with it, the sun will set and 

I will pass on like a mist passing over a river 

forever gone from this experience 

with no proof that it ever existed.

My Sun sets when my Soul moves on.

But my Soul Light will forever shine on.

The Light Cannot Be Given To You By Another

"Most people, when they are confused, disturbed, want to return to the past; they seek to revive the old religion, to re-establish the ancient customs, to bring back the form of worship practised by their ancestors, and all the rest of it. But what is necessary, surely, is to find out whether the mind that is the result of the past, the mind that is confused, disturbed, groping, seeking, whether such a mind can learn without turning to a guru, whether it can undertake the journey on which there is no guide. Because it is possible to go on this journey only when there is the light which comes through the understanding of yourself, and that light cannot be given to you by another; no Master, no guru can give it to you, nor will you find it in the Gita or in any other book. You have to find that light within yourself, which means that you must inquire into yourself, and this inquiry is hard work. No one can lead you, no one can teach you how to inquire into yourself. One can point out that such inquiry is essential, but the actual process of inquiring must begin with your own self-observation."

~ Jiddu Krishnamurthy ~

No One Is Your Friend. No One is Your Foe.

No one is your friend.

No one is your foe.

Everyone is your teacher.

When I read the above from "The Game of Life and How to Play It" by Florence Scovel Shinn, something stirred in me deeply because the statement is so impersonal and so simple.  And yet in its simplicity lies Perfect Love because the focus is always in the moment of any experience. 

It does'nt matter who you are in the moment with - family, friend or foe. All are Teachers. Every Soul is teaching me something new about myself. I can resist ofcourse if I don't like the lesson, but more and more Teachers spring up with more and more lessons. Far better to develop a genuine sense of cheerfulness and humor  to deal with difficult situations. I say genuine, because surface humor only just acts as a temporary relief. But true and a divine sense of humor gives you divine insight.  What matters only is that every interaction becomes a blessing because of the purity of attention paid to it. You are not concerned about anything else. Your whole attention is finely focussed on this moment. It slows you down and releases the tension of having to be doing something else simultaneously. At the end of it you learn something new not only about yourself, but also receive glimpses of the fourth dimension where sages say a wondrous life abounds. 

Doing this as a spiritual discipline creates a wider and deeper understanding of Life and its Beauty. This practice is teaching me patience and compassion for myself first and foremost. It is also giving me a new range of possibilities of how I can find peace within myself for longer and longer periods of time.

Perfect Love casts out all fear. Let all worldly beliefs and labels drop away. They have no substance. It is time well spent staying focussed on this activity.

Om Shanti.

Life Just IS.

Hi! I'm Lavina. Namaste and Greetings! :))

My purpose for being here is to just share. I have learned much from the sharing of other people's life experiences and I figure I can return the service.

Most often we never know who is looking for a little encouragement and by just reading a word here, a line there, something stirs within opening up a potential he/she never even knew existed. It sets something new in motion. It is more about being of assistance to even just one person. When that happens I Am deeply grateful for that chance to help. Every one needs a helping hand. I know I do - constantly!

Life is not about complicated, profound stuff only.  I am often very pleasantly surprised how simple Life actually and really is. I have gone so used to trying to figure out how to do "cartwheels" that all I have achieved is a lot of fatigue and stress following that process. Life is much sweeter than that.  Its about letting it take me and breathe me in and out each moment creating sweet little nothings. Literally, everything is nothing. Once done, they cease to exist. I must move on. How incredibly simple Life is. There are two sides to every experience. I can choose how I wish to see the experience. Now, that is remarkable. I have a choice. I don't have to be stuck in old stuff and stories. Its not there anywhere so why bother?

Life is very uncomplicated. I like it simple. I have been a housewife by choice for some time now because I no longer wanted to be in the rat race. I have given up life in the corporate environment because it stopped agreeing with my inner being a long  time ago. Being at home gives me complete freedom to just BE whatever I need to be at any given moment - not that I cannot experience being me anywhere else- its just that I am no longer restricted in any way.

For me to be of service "out there", I need to know who I am "in here"  - my Home within me - to guide my life outwards. Being at home in the external world gives me that time to pray, meditate, contemplate, study, self-inquire, live, love, experience, etc. etc. without the stress of trying to prove myself constantly in a world that has its own set of rules that don't match up with my idea of freedom.

Contrary to the belief that I can make a difference only by going "out there" in the world, I find my role presently enables me to "enable" many people by just being me and being at ease with myself and my life, and hence, being available to anyone from any strata of society at any time helping them to see that the world becomes a kind, loving, generous and beautiful place when we constantly are aware of our thoughts. This pushes me to do the same because my memory tends to be short!! I have a little reminder that helps me with this. My mobile chimes a beautiful forest theme every hour on the hour to remind me to take stock my life in the last hour and in this moment change what needs to be changed. This is the best tool I have ever been able to follow without fuss - a thought which sprang to my mind one early morning. If I am tired and need rest, the hourly chime reminds me to pay attention. If I am feeling aligned, the chimes remind me to be grateful. This is bliss for me. I have the reminder to change my mood and thoughts every hour on the hour. Time has its place and value.

Often people ask me questions like "what do you do?", I am often stumped for an answer because I am unable to give them the answer they would like to hear and be sufficiently impressed.  When I say " I'm just doing a lot of inner study" , they go "Oh!" and usually there is a moment of silence and a PAUSE!  

I love PAUSES. They bring me right back to my Realty and my own Path.

Ah! well! I hope your life allows you the freedom to bloom and shine and be unapologetic about living just the way you want. Wish you Divine Freedom.

With Reverence and Infinite Gratitude for Life. Life Just Is. Breathe ... and Relax! All is well.

Namaste.